Silencing Jacob Marley
by mrstrekkiemonster
Summary: When the ghosts came to rattle their chains, the only name they ever whispered was Gillian's.


The laughter and music carried through to his office but he didn't hear any of it. He was lost in his own world. The staff Christmas party was in full swing but Cal was locked away in his office brooding. Although he showed all the signs of being a scrooge, really he liked Christmas. It made Emily happy which made him happy. Even as a kid his parents had managed to convincingly pretend that for that one magical day, everything was fine. It wasn't Christmas that he hated. It was the seasonal pastime of a new year looming that made everyone reflect on their lives that he couldn't stand. Self pity mixed with mulled wine. Never a good combination. The problem was Cal indulged in this holiday tradition. Forgoing the mulled wine for scotch, he wondered what would bring the ghost of Jacob Marley to his door tonight. For the last few years his regrets always involved one thing or rather one person. What would bother him tonight? The ghosts of years past had so many things to choose from. Would it be the time he'd run away when she'd told him she was leaving her husband. He'd used Torres as an excuse but what he'd really wanted to do was hold her and tell her that everything would be alright. Or how about behaving like an idiot in Vegas even when he could see how much it upset her. There were always the opportunities wasted, like that kiss in that adult movie producers office. If he'd just told her how much he'd enjoyed it instead of joking with her about being tied up. Or he could have had the guts to tell her that the things he said about wanting her weren't just to bargain for her boyfriend's life. He meant every word. When the ghosts came to rattle their chains the only name they ever whispered was Gillian's.

Even now in the present they would call. At the party tonight he had watched her. She looked so happy as she went around chatting to everyone, wishing them all a happy Christmas. She looked so beautiful. The Christmas tree lights made her eyes sparkle and she was wearing a Santa hat that was the same colour as her dress. Cal was so mesmerised he dropped his guard and just stared at her. From across the room Gillian felt his eyes on her and she turned to search for him. Her eyes met his and a huge smile lit her face. She crossed the floor and Cal felt the rest of the room disappear. All of his focus was on her. She held out her hand and it took Cal a few seconds to realise she wanted to dance with him. His immediate reaction was to take her hand, pull her close and find the nearest piece of mistletoe, but then the fear set in and he shook his head and all but ran from the room. So here he was, kicking himself alone in the dark. He wondered if they had opened the secret Santa gifts yet. This year he was hers. He'd spent so long choosing the perfect gift for her but then had chickened out at the last second. That present lay in his desk drawer while he'd placed a pretty but rather impersonal scarf under the tree for her instead.

If that was Christmas present what of Christmas future? Would he be sat here next year in the same situation? Maybe it would be worse. Maybe she would have found somebody new. Maybe this time next year all of his regrets would be missing something. Hope. In the present he had hope. Hope that he could confront his fear. Hope that they would stop hiding behind a line. Hope their future could be different. Cal poured himself another measure of scotch and raised it to the ghost of Christmas yet to come.

"What are we drinking to?"

The voice startled Cal and he dropped his glass and it shattered on the ground. "Christ!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Cal squinted in the gloom of his office. Bathed in a halo of light from the now open door, Gillian stood concern on her lovely features. Cal rose from his desk, flicking on the lamp and began picking up the shards of glass.

"It's ok luv. Just wasn't expecting company. Party over?"

Gillian shook her head and bent down to help Cal. "No. I just came to check on you."

Cal was just about to lie and tell her he was fine and that she should go back to the party when they both reached for the same piece of glass and instead took each other's hand. The shot of electricity was so big they both immediately stood up. Cal looked down at his hand to see his fingers entwined with Gillian's. She smiled sweetly but didn't release him.

"Why are you in here alone?" she asked taking his hand fully in hers.

His gaze rose from their hands to her face. Looking into her soft blue eyes Cal suddenly had no idea. Somewhere in the distance the music from the party played on. Laughter and singing carried through the building but Cal didn't hear any of it. Again her eyes made him feel like they were the only two people around. The rest of the world melted away and all of his doubts and fears went with it. He was staring at her in that way of his as if he were trying to see into her soul. He wanted to speak. To tell her what he was thinking but he didn't have the words.

He squeezed her hand and then let it go as he went to open his desk drawer. He took out a carefully wrapped package and handed it to Gillian.

"What's this?"

"I'm your secret Santa." Cal explained.

Gillian looked puzzled. "But I already got your gift."

Cal shook his head. "Christmas past." He said. "This is Christmas present."

Gillian looked even more confused but began to unwrap the parcel at Cal's insistence.

She smiled and put her hand over her heart. A torrent of emotion engulfed her as she looked at the gift in her hand. The light of the lamp shone on an elegant silver picture frame but it was the photograph inside that took Gillian's breath away. It was very informal and quite grainy. She guessed Emily must have taken it with her phone. It was of Cal and Gillian in the reception of the Lightman Group deep in conversation and completely unaware of being photographed. They were smiling but there was something else too. It jumped out of the frame. Love. Their body language, the way their heads were tilted, the spark in their eyes. The subjects in the picture were completely in love with each other.

She looked back at Cal now lost for words herself. He could read that Gillian had seen what he had the first time Emily had shown him the picture. He studied her. Seeing the happiness in her eyes and the softness of her expressions gave Cal the courage he'd desperately longed for. He took the frame from her hands and placed it carefully on the desk. He stepped closer into her personal space.

"Christmas future." He said his voice barely more than a whisper.

"What?"

"That's what we're drinking to. That's what I see when I look at that picture…..When I look at you."

Cal leaned forwards and chastely kissed her lips. This was all still in the realms of friendship. They hadn't done anything that couldn't be explained away but the charge in the air told them that this was it. The point that in years to come they would look back at as their defining moment. The sensible safe solution was that she went back to the party and he went back to brooding. Fortunately for the Christmas spirits in that moment Gillian and Cal weren't feeling very sensible. Every fibre of their beings tingled with anticipation. The years of longing and frustration flowed through them and spilled out. Cal took her hand again and the moment skin touched skin the last of their resolve snapped. Within seconds his lips were on hers. His hands wound into her hair, hers slipped around his waist pulling him closer. All of their need and passion were poured into that one perfect kiss. They broke apart just enough so they could see the others face. Everything they had ever wanted to say to each other they said in those few seconds without uttering a word. His hand stroked her face, tracing her features trying to commit them to memory in case this was all some wonderful dream. Cal's hands moved lower touching her body and Gillian returned the favour leaving him in no doubt that this was not a figment of his imagination. He tried to turn her to press her into the wall but she slipped on the broken glass and stumbled out of his arms. Steadying herself against the desk she looked wide eyed at Cal to see him grinning at her. She scowled at him but he continued to smile. Her hair was tousled, her lipstick all but gone and she was breathing hard but Cal had never seen a more beautiful sight. He held out his hand to her and it took her a few seconds to realise what he was asking. A smile replaced her scowl and she took his hand and let him pull her into his arms. Slowly and to the beat of their own music, they danced. Holding her tightly, he never wanted to let go. Her head rested on his shoulder and she wished this moment could last forever. But this was the time for action. No more hiding their heads in the sand. No more fear. No more line. He needed to tell her what he wanted, make sure she wanted the same things. Without breaking their embrace, partly because it felt so right and partly because he knew if he looked into her eyes all coherent thought would be gone along with his self-control, he said

"I love you."

Gillian lifted her head and searched his eyes. Amazingly when he looked back his desire to pull her to the floor and do all of the things he had fantasized for so long was quelled, momentarily, by the love staring back. The deep, pure, unwavering love poured into his soul. He didn't think it could get any better until she said

"I love you too."

The rush of emotion threatened to overwhelm Cal and the grin that spread almost split his face in two. Her smile matched his but then something flickered in her eye.

Cal panicked "What?"

Gillian touched his face and instantly calmed him. "I was just thinking about how long it's taken us to get here. How much time we've wasted."

Cal took her hand and pressed his lips to it. "That's all in the past. Now it's time to change our future. It can all be different now."

Her smile returned. "Ok. Where do you want to start?"

He grinned lasciviously. "We could go back to your place."

"What? And leave all of our guests at the party!"

Cal shrugged and was about to agree when he saw the twinkle in her eye. She pulled him to her kissing him passionately and leading from the room. They passed several employees in the hall including Loker, Torres and Emily who all noted Cal's dopy grin.

"Where are you going?" Emily called after them.

"To silence Jacob Marley." Cal answered never breaking their stride.

_**Merry Christmas everyone. I hope Santa brings you all your hearts desires! **_


End file.
